Dearest 3Ls, it’s only been three years since we started, but it feels like twenty. [Started from the bottom, now we’re here! #3LFreeL.] And oh, the things I’ve learned. But don’t worry, I’m nothing without you. And while law school memories might fade, Lawsip Girl is forever. I’m with you, and I’ll be with you ‘til the end.
Ladies, remember that 3L that was off the market? Well, guess what?!?! He’s back [from outer space]! I just walked in JG and found him there what that sad look upon his face. Silly boy, we’re the ones that should be upset, we just lost our wedding crashing moment. “But you gotta keep your head up, oh, yeah.” “Rule #71: No excuses. Play like a champion!”
M talking with PILF auctioneer Prof. Jackson: “Don’t worry, I have ways to get that for free.” Oh, honey…do you really? Better watch who you say that around. Because while your love don’t cost a thing, you might want to re-think that. Just a little…
Class can be boring, but then sometimes your professor says something you just wouldn’t believe… [Sorry profs, even you can’t escape my reign.] Annndddd… the winning submission is…[INSERT DRUMROLL] “Let’s say this hypothetical is in California, which is the only place I drive. And that I’m sexting.” Aca-whaaaaa?!?!
Lenfest café discussions…People, people don’t you know the walls have ears?!
“I’m so over my ex.” Yes, you’re having your little TS moment, “We are never, ever, ever getting back together.” Lies! You know who you are. For shame! I’ll believe it when I see it.
E: Do you think my boyfriend is gay? T: Ummm….yes. E: Why didn’t you tell me before? T: Ummm… WELP! Don’t look so sad, E; “the sun will come out tomorrow…even though your boyfriend already did today.” We didn’t want to be the ones to tell you, but somebody had to. Sorry, I’m not sorry.
L: “I had a dirty dream about Suzanne Goldberg. She was a great kisser.”
LATE BREAKING NEWS:
Smile! You’re on Candid Camera! They say a picture’s worth a thousand words, and a certain photo was posted that was screenshotted ‘round the world…or at least around CLS. O & K were certainly having a muckin’ good time! Sorry gentlemen, what happened at the Speakeasy, definitely didn’t stay at Speakeasy.
A making out with homegirl, and then another one, and then another one….again, and again, and again. Stop being such a manwhore. Your wolfpack is leaving, and we all know what happened to the boy who cried wolf.
Everyone who wasn’t at M15 at the Grad Week kick off. Yes, your #FOMO is real. Luckily I was there, and am ready to catch you up on all that you missed. It’s been three years, and now the S is hitting the fan. Honestly, who am I kidding, that night was epic, and if you weren’t there. You. Missed. Out.
“The thing about new beginnings is that they require something else to end.” We have passed the torch, and JG is at peace. And if any 1Ls try to disturb that peace, well, let’s just say we taught the 2Ls [yes, you’re still 2Ls until graduation] how to take care of it. [Imagines gunner 1Ls being hit by a bus]…Just kidding. Who am I kidding? This is for real, for real. Don’t F it up kids.
“In life, as in art, some endings are bittersweet.” Especially when it comes to law school. “Take time to smell the flowers. It’s true that all good things must come to an end,” and our time here is no exception. They don’t call it graduation for nothing.” CONGRATULATIONS CLASS OF 2014. You da best!
Now that all my secrets are out, you have a clean slate. It’s almost vacation time, but “unlike the rest of us, sex, lies and, scandal never take a vacation…Some would say summer is their busiest season.” Until next year B’s…I’m out! [Drops mic.]
Is any of this true? I’ll never tell. Did I make things up? You’ll never know. You know you love me.